Next Summer: A Buddhist Mega-Blockbuster Movie

Even though it is yet to be released, you have all probably heard by now of this summer's big, big movie: Snakes on a Plane.

And the reason we have heard of it is because the blogosphere encouraged, developed, created buzz, guaranteed that it not be watered down and saved its name when the studio wanted to change it to something boring. The name of the movie is already a part of our culture. "Snakes on a plane" means 'that's life' or c'est le vie. But, of course, we Buddhists know that "snakes on a plane" means dukkha, since the sence of suffering is readily apparent - since being on a plane filled with snakes cannot be fun.

It is time now for us bloggers to determine next year's big summer blockbuster and I think we should make it a bodhibuster.

Here are twelve candidate names for next year's mega-hit:

• Monks on a Plane with Snakes or Snakes on a Plane with Monks or Snakes on a Monk with Planes
• The Theravadan came from Planet Clare
• Naked Came the Buddhist
• Militant Buddhists on a Compassion Jihad
• Indiana Bhikkhu and the Lost Sutra
• Hello, Dalai: It's so nice to have you back where you belong: in Tibet!
• The Noonday Sky Blackened by Buddhists Hovering in Meditation Over Cleveland
• The Good Plague! The contagion that destroys people's egos and can't be stopped! Whereas the Black Plague was spread by rats, the Good Plague is spread by - shudder - Buddhists!
• The Diamond Sutra is Forever
• The Heart Sutra is a Lonely Hunter
• One
• You Have Me, Bodhi and no Soul

OK, Buddhists. We need your ideas, here! Please offer a title YOU think can excite a huge movie fanbase. THEN, all we have to do is decide on one, blog about it a lot and then blog about it a lot more and then blog about it again. Before you know it, we'll have attracted a healthy group of star actors eager to appear in the film [for scale], a studio will produce it, Martin Scorsese will agree to direct it, Phillip Glass will want to write the score [but we will rise up to prevent that!], and then the film will help to change the world!